2.23.2008

Dirty Laundry!

Beware! Here comes some dirty laundry!!! I had the worst afternoon ... and I am about to share it with you ...

Ok ... motherhood is hard, right? The hardest job I have ever had. (Also, the most rewarding!!) But, it takes structure, boundaries and tons of patience! Yesterday around 4 I got a bad migraine. All three kids were home and I now have this pounding head. I needed to lay down for 3o minutes or so to let the shading go away and let the pounding settle in. I gave the kids their instructions and set the TIVO for one show of Super Why! All good and this gives me 30 minutes to rest.

... 30 minutes later ...

I return to the den and completely freak out! The two little ones are on the sofa with snacks and Diet Coke cans. Sitting there holding bowls of Dots, Pretzels and Cheese Nips and full cans of Diet Coke. Babycakes looks up and says to me ... hey Mommy, can I have a straw? Ok ... what the hell? We DO NOT eat in the den and they are not allowed to have soda. They have completely used my massive headache to pull over the biggest "help ourselves to food and forbidden drink" ever!!! So, of course I lose my patience, scream, yell, dump snacks into the trash and take away sodas. They both end up in their rooms as I compose myself. Then, to take it one step further ... I have an out of body experience and end up on the computer making a list of House Rules which I stomp upstairs and post on the fridge for all to see and read!

Ok ... the dirty laundry part? (Not as though the above section was not enough) Lawyer comes home and busts out laughing! His comment ... I wish I could have seen that meltdown. REALLY? ARE YOU FOR REAL?? You want to be home to witness my head spinning and the green goo spurting from my mouth? That is funny to you? How about the fact that you won't let me get new sofas and new carpet, but do not support the fact that I am trying my darnest to take care of the nasty carpet we own in the den and stretch out the life of the sofas. (Not to mention the fact that a simple sniffle from you and you are holed up in the bed for days!) What the hell? He wants well behaved, respectful children, but does not want to put in the effort or structure to ensure they stay that way. My kids are pretty good (they have their scary moments) but they still need to be ridden like Seabiscuit! They have to be watched every minute. They are CHILDREN!!! Does he really think one day they will wake up and just get it? You know ... eat breakfast and say to us ... we are finally old enough, now we obey! No, they are taught, silly!!

We got into the ugliest fight. The kind where I yell and cry from complete exhaustion (still have massive headache, and I am still functioning!) and he looks at me like I am the crazy lady who must be handled with kid gloves. He even says ... I am just trying not to say anything to make you any more upset! Really ... cuz at the moment I am thinking about how you must die!

Ok ... let's think about this ...
Kids need rules.
Rules need to be posted.
Breaking rules mean consequences.
Simple ... yes?

He thinks I am crazy! He acts like I intend to bounce quarters on their beds once they are made and make them speak to me using ... Ma'am, yes ma'am. We are talking simple, basic rules. Our house more structure than most due to the special ed issue. All of the doctors have stressed this since day one. The OT and I have even had behavior sessions. These were very helpful!! It just took me hanging off the side of the cliff to be able to sit down on Word and compile some written rules!

Isn't this pretty straight forward ... please help!!!

(Oh, and by the way ... it is 8:08 am and he is still asleep while I have been awake with Babycakes watching Disney since 6:02! I am just saying ...)

4 comments:

  1. Paint Boy asks me regularly, when am I going to "get the kids saddles?" "You just never let up, you ride them every day." Does he do homework, does he make sure chores get done, does he clean? Thank God Maria comes on Saturdays!

    FYI to others, I am Maria!

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  2. GIRL--I could not agree with you more!!! You are doing the right thing. Hang in there and stick to your guns (or go out and buy a few and threaten with them-HA)! Men don't get it. I'm still trying to figure out HOW you functioned AT ALL w/a migraine. Those are killer, I know! An idea-next time Babycakes wakes up so early, send him in your room w/Dad and you go to sleep in his room! See how Dad likes that one! AH-HAH!

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  3. Ugh, I am so frustrated on your behalf right about now! You are definitely in the right here... Kids need rules. I just about lost it when I read his "I am just trying not to say anything else to make you upset" comment...

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  4. My hubby doesn't get it either and often overrides me in the rules/punishment dept. It infuriates me!

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