7.15.2015

Inspiration du jour ... #family



I have put off writing this post for three days ... honestly half in shock and half afraid to share our family news.  I think part of me is so nervous that if I share it will end and I will be back to the same scenario du jour.  

 I am choosing trust over worry and trust over fear.

As most of you know my husband travels for work.  He typically leaves our house around 3 or so on Sunday afternoon and he returns home Thursday afternoon.  Our family time starts Friday after work and ends Sunday at lunch.  The hours we have together are precious and few.  This has been our lives for over three years.  While I have been anything but graceful during this schedule he, on the other hand, has been strong, without complaint and diligent in making sure he flew cross country to come home for a mere 48 to 72 hours a week.  It has been hard for our family and hard for our marriage.  

Not only does he travel but he travels back and forth to California each week.  Travel schedules, our family schedule, 4 busy children, time zone differences and life has been a hard one to juggle these past few years.  I have tried my hardest to remember the sacrifice he is making to support and love our family but that suitcase that never got put away haunted me.  Yes, he would be home but he would constantly be taking clothes from his suitcase only to wash and repack them just as quickly as it seemed he came home.

I was in a place where I was defeated.  So many times I would put on my big girl panties and remind myself I am blessed.  I am married to a loyal and good man.  I have a healthy husband.  He works hard without complaint to make sure we are more than provided for each and every week.  But no matter how many times I laid my burden at the cross the human in me said the same thing.  I need him home with me.  His attitude was so much better than mine.  I never wanted to get used to him being gone.  I wanted him home. 

Sunday morning after spending an entire Saturday watching our little one swim her heart out I was exhausted, sporting a swollen and still broken foot and dreading another Sunday evening without my husband.  I remember sitting in bed with my coffee while he snoozed and asking him what time he flew out.  And then this happened ...

He rolled over and looked at me with a smile and said ... I have been waiting for you to ask me that question since I arrived home on Thursday afternoon.  I am not flying out next week and I won't be traveling weekly for quite a while.

And the world seemed to stop.

I honestly thought he was joking.  And not in a good way.  It took him letting me read an email from his boss who had in fact halted his weekly travel for the time being.  We have our Daddy home.  

I have spent the last few days watching him.  Just looking at him.  Seeing him sleep next to me is almost unreal.  I will reach out and touch him just to make sure he is in fact there.  And he is.  One hundred and ten percent.  In fact he hasn't even been to his office yet but instead is working from home.  He isn't quite sure what to do with me staring at him so much but I will settle in hopefully soon and he will go to work and come home just like he used to before this crazy four years began.

The travel hiatus may only last a few months or even less but for now we are celebrating.  I am incredibly thankful.  I am content.

I am still incredibly blessed, but now I am blessed with my husband home each evening and our family time stretched over 7 days instead of 2.

And that is an incredible feeling!


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