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I have nothing for you ... I am so over this single parenting gig! I have now resorted to tears and a lot of them! I had arranged for a sitter today to watch the kids so I could have four hours to myself and now have had to cancel. Little Mister woke me up at 6 am with a fever of 103.5 ... WHAT THE HELL! The worst part? Little Mister does not do medicine. To get anything down him it requires two adults and a lot of strength. I plan on asking the doctor for an alternative method of administering drugs today! I called Lawyer (at 5:30 am his time) and broke down into a huge puddle. If one more of my children has to stay home from school I will lose it. It is not that I do not love them dearly and not that I am not worried about him, because I really am, it is just that I have been full on Mommy 24 hours a day for 12 days!! It has now broken me! I have dishes in my sink and my bed has not been made in three days. Yesterday I finally showered after two solid days. I think I finally got to Lawyer's sensitive side. He may have actually have booked a flight home on Friday morning. We shall see ....

I will leave you with this email I got this morning. I guess it could be worse, my kids could be crafty!!!

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your Son John

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

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