7.12.2011

Blessings everywhere!

As I have posted many times God has paved the way for us to move to Kansas.  If that was not so clear I would have dug my heels in long ago and probably caused a rift in my marriage.  I have lived in Atlanta for 18 years ... it is my home.  I came home as a newlywed here, have delivered my babies here ... basically created a life here.  I have great friends, an amazing church, a great team of doctors and therapists, great schools and a support system like no other.  I am happy!

I am not saying that Overland Park, Kansas does not have all of these things and more ... but it is foreign to me.  It is the unknown.  It causes me anxiety and fear. 

At the end of last week I thought that the whole move thing might get scratched.  We got some crazy news and for a few days I thought I might get to have my cake (Lawyer's dream job) and eat it to (stay in Marietta).  I just could not fathom how we could make it all work under the circumstances that were presented to us.  I erupted into a pile of sobs on my bed letting out months of anxiety, exhaustion and fear.  I felt helpless and was on a roller coaster ride I could not find my way off.  The bestie tried to call ... more than once and I could not even find the strength to answer the phone.  She texted me three little lines.

It will work out.
Praying now.
I love you.

About an hour later I felt an enormous sense of calm.  I would not call it peace because you can't feel peace when you have been to the ugly cry and back.  But I was calm.  I had let it all out.  I had laid at my savior's feet and begged for a solution and given all I had to him.  His answer ... calm in the storm.

We went away for the weekend to the wedding and I truly did enjoy every minute.  Lawyer and I were able to put the whole worry behind us and truly just have a great time with his family.  It was a great weekend.  When we headed home I was filled with dread.  What would happen?  Would all of our obstacles be resolved.  Was the moving truck coming on the 25th ... was I flying out on the 29th?  What were we doing?

Yesterday morning we got our answer.  God once again removed all our obstacles and even further showered us with blessings.  Every problem has been solved.  He has made the impossible happen.  We are moving ... all the details have been handled.  It is done. 

Then ... more tears.  I am leaving.  It is happening.  The invites for the goodbye party went out ... it is real. 

As I went to sleep last night I once again surrendered it all.  I have to give up my fears and anxiety to be blessed even further.  I truly believe that God will not ask us to go somewhere if it isn't in all of our best interest.  My prayer for years has always been that our unit of five would be tight.  That our family would be close.  I am sure that we will achieve that.  For a while our unit of five will be all we have.  We will grow stronger.  It will be good for all of us.

I woke up this morning again with an overwhelming sense of calm.  I dropped off the younger two at VBS and headed to Chick-fil-a for a requested biscuit combo for the teenager.  As I rounded my way to the pick up window I was told that my order had been paid for ... the car in front of me had picked up the tab. 

Once again I have been blessed.  I just have to continue to give my fears over and he will handle the rest!

xo,
MPM
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