2.16.2012

The worst mother ever!!

Parenting a teenager is very hard.  I used to think that it was hard when they were little and needed constant supervision, but I am not 100% sure that it was easy peasy compared to the teenage years.  When they are little you just have to keep them safe, teach them right from wrong, keep them as healthy as can be and love them to bits!!  Now that he is 15 I have so many other things to add to that list.

I have been focused on letting him go ... just a little.  He is in high school, he needs to be independent.  He needs to make his own decisions and then watch them play out.  At least with the little things.  He recently fell asleep while doing his homework and then woke up early and panicked that it wasn't completed.  He left a binder at school and when we went to retrieve it the building was locked up for the night.  He didn't do as well as he could have on the quiz the next day.  These are natural consequences to his actions.  They are healthy.

He is a great kid.  He is trustworthy and loyal.  He works hard and makes good choices.  He listens to the rules and doesn't try to push them.  He is a little naive and I like it that way.  He has the rest of his life to be worldly and exposed to more than he needs to be now.  I truly believe in letting kids be kids as long as possible.  They don't need to watch TV and movies above their age groups and they don't need to be places that are not appropriate for them.  Let them just be the age they are and not push them to be older and wiser.  Sorry ... where was I?

For the most part HSM and I only fight about his attitude toward his younger siblings.  He gets jealous when his younger brother gets more grace than he did at the same age.  I try to explain to him that you can't compare the two since WPM has learning and behavior issues to deal with but he is convinced it is just me loving one child more than him.  In his heart he understands, but his head and his hormones disagree.

Yesterday Lawyer and I made the call to limit some of the messaging on his cell phone.  Although he has never been inappropriate he did receive a photo from a girl that I did not like.  She is a nice girl, but a little boy crazy at the moment.  She sent him a cartoon which was a tad inappropriate.  It did not contain nudity but it was not appropriate none the less.  It was a wake up call for me.  Although I am pretty darn sure he would not send messages or pictures that would put him self in danger I am not sure he would not receive them.  He is a 15 year old boy.  And boys attract girls.  After talking to some friends and mulling it over I decided to block his phone from being able to receive photos.  He was, of course, not happy.  His argument was that he would be missing out.  On what I am not sure.  He did point out that he would not have been able to send me the photo he did from DNOW last weekend and I would not be able to send photos to him.      He argued about it for quite some time.  Now I know what the debate team teacher liked him so much.  He was convincing and most of his arguments were valid.  Unfortunately there is too much risk out there.   

He is right, he will be missing out on some things.  But first and foremost he will be protected from receiving photos from some girl who didn't think before she sexted!  He doesn't understand it now and doesn't need to.  I am ok with that.

I am good with him thinking he has the worst mother ever. 

It's my job!

xo,
MPM 

4 comments:

  1. I'm so glad that when I was HS cell phones were not able to text, and sexting didn't exist! I had a cell phone but minutes were still expensive in the late 90s, so I didn't use it that often. I think you did the right thing, because you're protecting him. Receiving inappropriate messages wouldn't be HIS fault, but he could still find himself in trouble. parenting in 2012 can't be easy, but you are doing a good job! Hang in there!

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  2. Amen!Parenting teenagers is such a difficult task. Even when we are blessed with "good" kids they are still exposed to so much and have so many outside influences that it makes our job hard. I have two girls - one was easy and one made my hair turn gray! But it was ok, I stood my ground and she is now a freshman in college (good grades, no babies, no scrapes with the law)and she is starting to see that I may not be so "mean" after all. One of the biggest compliments she ever gave me was "that I was the meanest Mom of all of her friends Moms and none of her friends liked me". I wasn't up for homecoming Queen so I took it with pride. Which brings me to another topic - there are toooo many parents that want to be "cook or neat" and be freinds with their kids. I am all for being friends, but I am a parent first. If all parents could follow a similar "rule book" is sure would make life easier! It sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job - keep up the good work. Just know he will appreciate "your rules" later!

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  3. Good job! Don;t ever be afraid to lay down the law you are the Mom!

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  4. What about emailing photos, just a thought?

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