6.15.2015

Inspiration du jour ... #tackletheugly



I am a master of to do lists.  I make them all the time.  I use them to relax, to clear my mind and to organize my day.  If I don't cross all the items off my list I carry it to the next day.  And most of all, I absolutely scratching things out in black sharpie. 

There are some things that remain on the list.  I write them down because they need to be managed, yet don't do them because they aren't necessary for that day (or I hate them if I am being completely honest) but they still need my attention.  Those roll over items add up over time and create all kinds of mess and chaos for me.  

This past week and a half I was once again struggling with a number of cluster migraines.  The medicine combination I had been taking stopped working and I couldn't get in front of the pain.  And then you add in nausea and vomiting and I had to admit I was not doing well.  A trip to the doctor on Tuesday earned me a shot in the hip, two more medicines and a question I needed to answer for myself.  

What is it in my life that adds stress than I can remove?  Although my headaches are not completely stress related, stress, exhaustion and dehydration are a bad combination for me.  And as soon as I become stressed the running around increases which leads to exhaustion and I forget to drink anything that isn't caffeine related.

Please tell me I am not alone in this. 

Ugh!  I had to do some real thinking which wasn't the easiest with a massive dose of steroids running thru me but when I came to a conclusion I truly had to be honest with myself.

1.  I do too many things, most of which I have no business doing at all.
2.  My ongoing to do list which really stands for things I haven't handled ways on me greatly.
3.  I don't eat well and I don't eat enough.  Some days one or two meals is a full day.  #wrong
4.  The husband travel schedule will not change, I can't remove this area of stress but I need to figure out how to manage it better.

It is time to do so real thinking.  What can I stop doing?  What can I let go of emotionally? What can I permanently remove from the master to do list?

I spent most of Saturday and Sunday tackling things on my list.  Things that actually needed my attention and hadn't had it in longer than I would like to admit. And I feel really good about the things I completed this morning.  There were some items I just had to remove because I shouldn't be doing them (dining room tweak) or I don't have the time (finish Little Bit's photo album) or the money (deck upgrade).   The rest just needed my full attention and a lot of my time.  

I haven't finished it ... but I made a huge dent in it and I managed to keep myself from adding anything else to it, so that is a MAJOR win.   

I am scheduled to see a neurologist this Thursday so I hope to have a plan in place before the next go round of cluster migraines.  And I do have some real answers for myself, which means I have work to do.  I have absolutely no problem admitting anything I am doing wrong.  You call me out ... I will dissect it and work to improve it.  I am a smart girl ... but I seem to make the same destructive decisions time and time again.  I need to set boundaries for myself (yes, I have read the book) and stick to them. 

The good news is this.  When you are down on your knees, the only place to look is up.


9 comments:

  1. I feel your pain, Sista!! Literally! :) I, too, get awful migraines and while I know my triggers, I often ignore my routines that typically prevent these f 'ing migraines. Its my own fault but I allow myself to get too busy, forget to say "no" to people and let my healthy habits slip by the way side which all inevitably leads to a day or many days of severe pain, vomiting, numbness, etc. I've always felt selfish for putting my mental health first but as people living with migraines, we have to put our health first. I find getting plenty of UNITERRUPTED sleep (I recently moved my phone into the kitchen and started using an alarm clock which has made a HUGE difference), lots of water to stay hydrated (which I HATE), some kind of physical activity at least every other day and keeping a notepad next to my bed so I can write down anything that could prevent me from sleeping. Also, learning to let go at the end of the day and knowing you have to done your very best that day!! Also, having a neurologist you trust and have a good rapport with is critical!! I had the best neuro at St. Joseph's in Atlanta for 12 years and can't find anyone like him at UVA or Martha Jefferson here in Charlottesville. None of them listen like Dr. McCasland did.
    It sounds like you are taking the correct approach to figuring out ways to live your (very full) life without too many migraines interrupting your daily routine. Good luck to you, Paige!! I hope you find relief soon. Migraines are a bitch!!

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment and your honesty. I can so relate to so many things you said about letting healthy habits slide as life gets in the way. I have so much to learn in this area and definitely appreciate all of your tips and kind words. xo

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  2. Great post, I too suffer from a form of migraines. I had to cut out all caffeine. Sodas and coffee too, it's been rough but I drink water all day and its made a difference. Do what's best for you and your family, sending prayers!

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    1. Thank you so much ... I am trying to limit my caffeine to just my coffee in the am and drink more water. It is a daily walk isn't it? Migraines are a complicated and wicked animal ... I feel for you and am thrilled to hear you are doing better. Gives me such encouragement! xo

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  3. My husband suffers from migraines so I know exactly how much they can get most your and your family's lives. He has learned that many of them are brought on by trigger foods but and has managed to cut his headaches down dramatically. Unfortunately he still gets bad ones due to stress. Hugs to you and I hope you are able to find both balance & relief.
    Amelia

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment. I am working on trigger foods ... so wish they would just show up red or something to give me a clue what to avoid. I need to be tested. Thank you for taking the time to share with me and your kind words! xo

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  4. Paige as a mother of a daughter who suffered from severe migraines (she missed over 50+ full days of school her junior and senior year, that does not include days checked in or out)...I so understand!! We tried all kinds of medications (we did find one that works to relieve them, but not prevent them). While some of hers were weather related (drop in barometric pressure-the crazy storms we get here in Atlanta)...I was SURE they were more food related. And, while we had gotten rid of most "known" triggers (caffeine, chocolate, grapes/raisins, beans/legumes, etc) in her diet there were still more. I finally put my foot down and had her tested. She had the ALCAT test run, but my other doctor's office (Progressive Medical) said there are others that are even better and less costly. We did what we knew at the time. The test confirmed the ones we already were aware of...beans, legumes, sunflower seeds...and so on, but the BIG surprise was she had a severe WHEAT allergy. She was an athlete, volleyball, she CARB LOADED all day long!!! We were poisoning our child, sadly. She went gluten free after the test and we avoided all things on her Severe, High and Moderate sensitivity list. She went from having 4-5 a week to 2-3 in 6 months!!! She still gets them every so often, weather, lack of sleep, stress from exams, but the severity even then is not as bad. I am all ears and happy to share everything we know if you want to talk about it!!

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