Feeling Like Me ...

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We all have bad days and some of those bad days extend for more than just the day and we end up with a bad week.  It happens to everyone and sometimes it takes a little more to get back to feeling like yourself.  Last week was that way for me.  It started off emotional with my youngest starting her 7th grade year and then hit me hard after losing a large and ever present member of my family and I was left feeling drained and lost and totally in a fog.  Part sad, part grief and just completely and totally drained.

We can all relate.


As I struggled to pull myself out of it on Thursday I noticed I just couldn't get my footing.  Little Bit left Thursday am for a two day middle school retreat.  Lawyer and the boys headed off Thursday afternoon to Parris Island to see Ryan graduate from Marine boot camp and I was alone with my thoughts and my time.  I should have been able to pull it together but I still felt so drained and so emotionally exhausted.

Friday morning I awoke early and truly spent some time thinking on the week.  Yes it was hard and draining but it was just one week and I needed to put it into perspective and find the joy I thrive on.  I just felt so empty and so not me. 

And then it hit me, I needed to nail it all to the cross and find peace and joy in the little things.  The things I love so much that truly feed my soul.  I spent the day doing things that bring me peace in the chaotic times and as I did so I felt more and more like myself.  They are simple things that I can control in situations I know I have no control over. As I went through the day being intentional about my actions I noticed that there are a small list of things that truly center me during my days and weeks that keep me feeling in control in a place and time where I have none at all. I am well aware of the things I am not supposed to control and those I do my best to hand over.  The rest that are controllable are my focus.  For me, and I am sure for most of you, it is the simple things that help me feel like me again during the bad days.  I am hoping by sharing this today I can help you with your bad days and weeks.

They are simple things, but the simple things add up and I feel better in no time at all.

Owning It ...

I have found this is the best for me.  Recognizing the situation for what it is and handing it over is by far the best way to battle the hard times.  Sometimes just stating out loud that its a bad day makes me feel better.  I am not a failure or incapable, it is just a bad time. Giving it a name and releasing it for what it is should always be the first step for me.

Fresh Flowers, Lit Candle and Good Music ... 

This combination always makes me feel instantly better.  It is like restarting the computer, starting fresh with a fresh outlook.  The music choice varies, for Friday it was John Mayer.  It can be anything from 80's music to Broadway to praise music.  Whatever speaks to me needs to be playing and playing loudly. The candle can vary as well.  It needs to smell good and more than one is always the best plan for me.  I usually gravitate to florals and citrus. I am pretty sure the one I have burning at the moment is a Lavender something. The smell and the sounds just put me in a better place almost instantly.  It is truly like a reboot.

Tidy House, Tidy Mind ... 

Anyone else thrive on a tidy house?  With a family of five, plus one extra this summer, it is easy to come down to a mess in any location of my house.  I have truly tried to take it for what it is, a season where our house just isn't as tidy as I would like it.  Friday morning with the candles on and the music blaring I went room to room and tidied the house.  It was amazing and it was truly nice to control something that I could and should control. I did my laundry, washed the sheets and towels and just did some good ole fashioned house maintenance.  As I went to bed Friday night it was truly nice to wake up Saturday morning to a tidier house.  Well, mostly ... 

Stay Home ... 

I have made the mistake of thinking a day out will help me during down times and it never really works out.  Choosing to stay home and ground myself is always the better plan for me.  Getting something done in my home that needs to be managed always makes me feel so much better than trying to tackle a new task.  Plus, on some really icky days I am really not for social consumption.  I mean, I am trying to manage me and the last thing I need is to be trying to fake it for someone else. My best bet is to stay home and tackle my bad mood before I enter the world.  I find I always feel so much better the next day when I am emotionally prepared for the day.

Support ... 

Part of owning it for me is to let those closest to me that I am struggling.  My husband is the best for bad days.  He always tells me to just live in the feelings and that it will move on before I know it. Oh, and the text "I love you, all of you" always reminds me that he has enough grace for both of us.  We all tend to be short and just off during hard times and letting those closest to you know it is a bad day lets them know you just need a little more grace than you would normally need.  Last week he left me a note which I immediately scooped up and put in my car to save.  A simple I LOVE YOU in all caps on a the back of my to do list immediately warmed my heart. We aren't perfect and aren't supposed to be.  There are many on this earth who are here to lift us up when we can't do it on our own, let them help you.

Hydrate ... 

When I am struggling I always start out thinking I just need more caffeine.  With medicine I take daily I can easily become dehydrated drinking only coffee.  I learned this summer the best way to feel a little peppier is to make myself a huge glass of water.  Adding in some lemon, lime and orange slices makes it happier and encourages me to have more than one.  There is nothing simpler to help me instantly feel better.  Before I know it I am walking faster and feeling a lot less foggy.

I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me to just pull it all together.  When I am foggy it is hard to remember how to get out of it, but I am hoping owning it will remind me to get centered early rather than later next time.  I am not saying grief isn't something I shouldn't have felt, but I do always want to be able to feel peace in the storms.  They aren't going anywhere and as a wife and mom I need to set the example. I know you can relate and I truly hope this list has helped you as well as it helped me last week. It is a whole new week and I feel a whole lot more like me which is a huge blessing.

You aren't alone and never will be. You are loved and wanted and bad days are just that, BAD. 
This too shall pass ...