5.13.2020

What Are We Rushing Back To?


I saw a post on someone's Instagram with this statement a few weeks back and it stuck with me.  I have thought about it a lot with all my extra time and I think I have made some really good headway on my answers.  This time has been a true reset for so many of us, and a lot of that was really needed for so many reasons.  I have friends who had been working tirelessly and needed a real rest, I have some who have lost serious work and their answers are so different, and some who have had a true reality check on their priorities.  I don't think there are right or wrong answers and one persons answers are so different from another.  I can only share mine ... and maybe you will glean something from it or it will validate something you are feeling. My word of the year was intentional and I can tell you I am definitely getting the chance to live out every single letter in that word. This is definitely a very personal post for me and maybe for you as well.



This isn't my first shelter in place time.  You may recall two years ago when our son had a mental health issue, he and I stayed in while he healed for about 3 months.  With the exception of the regular school things for my daughter and numerous appointments for him, he and I were attached at the hip and kept a schedule at home. Then last year when Nathan first came home from the hospital it was time to shelter again to take care of him and then to recover some myself as well.  So that was another three months.  Fast forward to this year it will be my third time to pull back, stay home, and do what is necessary for my family.  These times have taught me so very much. We are always learning, but I will say I have definitely learned so much in the last couple of years. So. Much.

I have learned what really matters most.  I always knew but now I really, really know.  There is a line in one of my favorite movies that talks about what you grab when the fire alarm goes off.  For me it is my family, the dog + my bible. The rest is stuff and either can be replaced or probably doesn't matter.  I have learned that those in your life that matter most will be the ones who show up. There are so many different ways to show up for those who need you and there is no right or wrong way to do it, just be there.  I have learned that we need so few things to be happy and healthy and your health is something you can not ignore.  I know I was so focused on taking care of others in the last few years that I neglected me.  This year I have seen a chiropractor regularly (Hi Sarah), given up gluten, dove into self care, slept better and cut way back on sugar and treats.  My body and my anxiety is so thankful and I feel better than I have in quite some time.

So, what will I be rushing back to?  Maybe the question is better stated what will I not be rushing back to?

First and foremost I will not be rushing back to the busyness of life.  I don't know how to describe it, other than to say it is like meeting someone for coffee and having to check your phone while you are with them because you are waiting for someone to call or email.  Also the never ending to do lists that most of us add too many things to and then add extra pressure on our lives.  The running around, the feeling of our hair being on fire, the push to be something ... all of it, I want it gone.  I have loved the quieter mornings.  Yes, I will be driving carpool (which I love), but I will not be rushing out of bed in the mornings to start my day.  I will set my alarm to get up and have the quiet time I love so the days start slower and not hit the ground running.  I hate that behind feeling. I can change it and I intend to.

I also will not stop the market and store deliveries.  I have found I do zero impulse buying when I order and have it delivered or shipped.  I buy what I need and that is all, eliminating returns and cutting way back on our spending.  I love it and I want it to continue.  Plus not having to run to Target, and then another when they don't have it, and then taking one back ... busyness I do not need. I love that we have made do with what we have when cooking and whittled down our largely stocked pantry.  I love that we have made some meals work with the staples on hand ... and had some really yummy dinners.  I love that I feel like we are wasting very little and I want to keep that path.  We have most definitely spent less, made do when need be, and been much better stewards of our supplies and groceries.  I do not want this to end. 

I will not be rushing back to driving to places I can walk.  Anyone else loving the slower pace?  Need something from a friend or neighbor?  We put the dog on the leash and walk there a lot more than I used to because we were all so busy.  Now the times feel more relaxed and I love it, can it stay forever?  It can if we want it to and I most definitely want it to.

I will not be stopping the longer phone calls with friends.  I think I have been one to text vs call because it was easier for a response I needed.  Now I want to pick up the phone, call them, connect with them, hear them laugh and tell them how much they are missed.  I never want these times to end.

I do not ever want the feeling of intense love and gratitude I have for my family and best friends to go away.  I am so very thankful for our health, their health and the way we all check in on each other.  I love that it feels so very special to get a text or a call that says I am just checking on you.  I love that we sit on our front steps and people walking say hello, ask how you are and engage.  I love the sights I see when we walk ... families playing together, washing their cars, playing in the sprinkler and enjoying the days and the weather.  I love the slowed down pace ... it feels so nice. 

What I want to rush back to?

Hugs and lots and lots of them.
Meeting others for coffee, lunch and dinner.
Inviting people over and stopping in to see friends.
Shopping small businesses.
Date nights out of the house.
Antique shops and leisurely walks in them.
Day trips.
Vacations.
Did I mention hugs?

I think this time has most definitely changed us all, and I love that.  I hope it has changed the way we think of others and most definitely how we see our teachers, nurses, and doctors. I have always felt our teachers are underpaid and under valued and I can attest to loving and respecting ours more than ever after having to help my kids. I know I am not alone. 



I hope your Monday is a great one!  ❤

3 comments:

  1. very touching, Paige, and a lot to think about . . .

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  2. This is so beautifully written, Paige. I am going to share on Facebook. Thank you for saying the words that I want to say to everyone rushing to get out of the house to eat Mexican and buy meaningless things at Home Goods. Stay safe.
    XXOO
    Renee

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