10.06.2020

One Year Later

Yesterday marked one year since we brought Nathan home from the hospital.  I felt off yesterday and then when I finally noticed the date I realized why I was feeling so strange.  I am most definitely one who subconsciously feels things and then remembers a day or so later what that date meant to me.  I can not believe that it has been a full year since we took a huge leap of faith and brought him home.  I was scared, honestly frightened, to do it on my own without the support of the hospital staff who had cared for both of us for two months.  The doctors felt it was the best time to give it a try ... so I prayed hard and God left the door open and we brought him home. 

The first night was the worst.  It was like having a newborn, one that someone handed to me very sick and somehow thought I was capable to care for it.  I slept little to none listening for every sound he made and taking his vitals every few hours.  I took his temperature, checked his pulse ox, checked his drains and his breathing and basically watched him sleep.  It was hard the first few days and then it became a routine and before you know it I was a pro at gloving up, flushing his lines, and changing out his bandages.  Three days later we went to see the surgeon who had been texting nonstop for someone to get some professional eyes on him, and we got the all clear to continue to stay home.  I remember him telling me he didn't think he would make it three days and I felt like a huge boulder had left my shoulders.  It was so good to hear validation for the same feelings and thoughts I was having.  He was so very frail. 

Oh, my sweet husband ... he ate and got stronger and went to therapy and every single day was better than the last. Every single week when we would see our surgeon for a check in and we would see muscle forming and weight gains I would cry the happiest tears, he was healing

A lot of you ask how he is now and how he is handling working from home, etc.  He is great ... still working through the chemo (he has 15 months left) but his scans are clean and he is feeling the best he can considering the chemo is hard on his body.  He is way more of an introvert than me so being home doesn't seem to bug him.  It would make me crazy, but he is so good at managing what he is going through and seems at peace.  He will work from home for the time being ... I would love to have him home until he is done with chemo, but we shall see. He is busy, works long days, and seems to be so settled.  I can't tell you how good it feels to see him working and happy and healthy. 

I still can't believe this is our story ... that he is here with us and that we get to live this life.  It is truly nothing short of a miracle and I am completely in awe of our God.  Someone commented last year and told me I seemed to talk about it it a lot and they would be correct.  I remember falling asleep in the ICU one evening and telling God if he healed him I would hold court and tell the world of the work he had done.  And here we are and if you give me a second I will talk your ear off of the miracle and work He did for us and the change He has made in our lives.  I said this last week and I will say it again.  As hard as the last almost three years have been I would not change it for the family and the people we have grown to be. 

And all the glory goes to Him. 

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