8.12.2020

What The Heck?

Or as Anna Grace would say ... what the hecky?  That is the way I feel since my girl started school last Thursday.  It was like time stopped on March 17 when we went into quarantine and then shot back to present on August 1 when some of the realness began again. Remember this post I wrote about what I would not be rushing back to ... yes number 1 is most definitely required errands and the busyness of the day.  Holy cow ... it is not fun. 

Please do not read that as me complaining ... because I am not.  We are so incredibly thankful for the ability for her to attend private school and be in a small school where they are attending in person.  I am also super thankful for the businesses we have had to visit to get her there and ready who are completely providing safe places for us to shop.  I am lastly beyond thankful that she has this option and that we chose a school that goes above and beyond to make us all feel as safe as possible during the craziest of times.  

This has been an eye opening ten days of how much I did not realize that I ran around all day and chose to do so.  There was little to no "blank spaces" in my day to relax and regroup.  Definitely little to no time to be intentional and I need to find the balance between the life we have become accustomed to the last five months and the busy of the last 12 days. I loved the prior, do not love this one, and need to find a happy medium between the two. 

Do you have a set schedule for the day?  Certain days you run out for errands and others you commit to being home and tackling house items?  I am so up for some suggestions as I am ready to change up my schedule.  I am thinking I need to bump my wake up time to 5 or 5:30 instead of 6:30 (ish) to get some blank space, coffee drinking, and devotional time in before the day begins.  I love mornings so I am going to give it a try the next two days to see how it changes the feel of the day.  

I think a lot of the busyness I feel has to do with the lack of time I see my girl during the day.  I was walking through the days of quarantine well aware we would never have the time that was given to us with the two kids at home again.  When do you ever have that much uninterrupted time with a 15 and 19 year old to just be?  It was glorious and precious and I am already missing it now that she is at school from 8 to 3 and then volleyball til 6 and then bath, dinner, homework and bed.  This is how the time flies, the days are so very busy. 

Just like everything else I will find a balance.  I am super thankful that I realize this quickly that this busyness day in and day out is not good for my mental state.  It makes me feel frazzled and stressed and as if I am forgetting every singlet thing I need to do.  I will find a happy medium, I am committed to do so. 

Sort of a brain dump post ... but also one I hope speaks to anyone who is feeling the same way and needs to know she or he isn't the only one.  It is real and I hope to change it quickly. My advice to anyone else is to sit in the feelings and sort through what it is that isn't working and then decide what can and can not be changed.  I think for me it will settle down in a week or so and getting up earlier will give me the space I am looking for.  Also, not being on the phone on the way home from vball pickup will give me that time I am craving, at least a bit of it. 

Hope your Wednesday was productive ... and here's to the weekend just two days away! 🍸

2 comments:

  1. Your post reminded me of when my two daughters were in school & I always found the time around school started was melancholy for me. Was I grieving for our relaxed summer schedule or realizing that my girls were moving toward graduation...I know what is going on now is different but a bit similar. Blessings for your sweet family as another school year begins & prayers for your husbands health as we all navigate these tedious times.

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  2. My kids ages 6,10,13 went back today in person.
    You have taken the thoughts straight from my brain this evening. We definitely are going to have to find the balance. I love the idea of getting up at dawn, but early (pre 6am) mornings are so challenging for me, bc I crave the sounds of late night porch sitting and stay up way to late enjoying that time alone. Just need more coffee!!

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